This is the part of the site I'm most excited about. As mentioned before, this page hopes to simultaneously solve the problem of clogged up email accounts and also to make the banter process more straightforward.

The banter page itself is actually an external free message board using SQL and PERL scripting...

Alright! For those of you with more patience there are things to know about before you launch yourself into paroxysms of wanton abuse:

Rules of the banter page:

1. Because a lot of people will be viewing the page from work and on computers that probably have Big Brother software installed to watch what you're up to, swearing is not allowed on the page...
   
   ... Don't worry! you can still swear, it's just that when you post your message the software bleeps out the naughty words with '#'s
   
   e.g.: "Simon is a ####ing ####"
   
   Clever huh? Be creative:
   
   e.g.: "Pauly is a farking amazing poker player, and wields a staggeringly impressive c0ck. Anyone who says different is a moany little biatch talking shiat"
   
   Poetic N'est pas?
   
   
2. Try to keep banter within threads. So if someone posts a new message saying "Cinderella is a perfectly acceptable poker name, empowering the title-holder with an alluring and stimulating level of manly kudos..." then please reply to that message rather than starting a new thread. You'll get the idea.
   
   
3. Er... that's all I can think of. I'm sure you lot will screw it up. Have fun!

How to banter

Many of you might not have played with a message board before. We all know Origami has (see chickswithdicks.com), but others might not, so here are a few pointers:

1. You can read the postings straight away, but before you can post a message you'll need to register your name. What you do it is put in your poker name (or other if you wish) and make up a password (KISS - keep it simple stupid). That's it - no email addresses, no credit card numbers, and no purchasing of herbal viagra required. If you forget your password, contact me and I'll email you a new one.
   
   Why do I have to register my name? Well this means that only you can post a message under your name, i.e. no funny guy can post a message pretending to be you. A bit of a hassle but worth it I'm sure you'll agree.
   
   
2. You can add smiley faces by typing the appropriate letters, like ;-)
   
   
3. Dammit I can't think of anything else - you'll figure it out soon enough. Any problems then contact me - I'm a slacker at work and online all day.
   
   
4. Oh yeah - one last thing to remember:

Well don't just sit there - get Bantering!!!